It is amazing how someone can touch others from so far away.

For more than two years, Susan has been Zooming into the Shabbat Morning service held every Saturday morning at 9:30am at Handmaker. Susan lives in Atlanta. How did this happen, you might ask? The Handmaker services are led by Susan’s cousin, Mel Cohen, and Dan Asia.

While the service is usually held in person from the Handmaker Great Room, like many organizations, during COVID we had to resort to services on Zoom when that was the only option. Thankfully, the service is usually in person now, but we continue to set it up so that people like Susan can “Zoom in” from afar, as well as for those residents who can’t or prefer not to come to the Great Room for the service in person. It is also wonderful to have this option for when our service leaders cannot be in the Great Room due to vacation, or for other reasons.

Over these last few years, Handmaker residents who participate in the service have gotten to know Susan virtually, and she has gotten to know them. Hearing “Shabbat Shalom” each Saturday morning in her warm and welcoming southern drawl makes everyone smile. The iPads get set up for the residents who are zooming in about 15-30 minutes before the service even begins, so that Susan has time to schmooze with each and every one of them.

Recently she shared some beautiful words about a resident who had passed away:

“We chatted each Saturday morning, ten to fifteen minutes before Shabbat services started on zoom. Alert, bright, caring Marcie asked ‘How are you?’  We did show-and-tell with the books she was reading that moment.  She shared her drawings. And as a true artist, she drew every day. I shared my week activities, my weather, my friends and family news. We shared a caring, deep, and loving friendship via modern technology.  Once strangers on a screen, we looked forward to our ten minutes each Shabbat morning.”

About a year ago, Susan began helping a friend go through her mom’s home and storage areas after she had passed away. There they found a treasure trove of tchotchkes, many still in their original packages. Susan and her friend wondered what in the world they would do with it all. Susan sent a box of items to her friends at Handmaker filled with solar powered hula figures, scarves, change purses, books and more. There were so many fun items that the Activity Department decided to use them as bingo prizes. They were a huge hit! Since that first box, Susan has sent several more. And Frieda, one of our Rich Neighborhood residents, became a collector of the solar powered hula figures. (see the photo) Once she started collecting, she would regularly ask when they were going to get some more when they ran out.

This week, Susan came to Tucson for the first time in two years. She came to visit her cousin Mel and his family, to join the Shabbat morning service in person, and to visit her friends at Handmaker. She was thrilled to get to meet Frieda and see her collection. Frieda thanked Susan for all the great bingo prizes, and told her that she is starting to give away some of her collection to make room for her new interest….elephants. Susan assured Frieda that when she gets back to Atlanta, she will look for some elephants to send to her.  

So grateful that technology has brought this wonderful woman into the lives of our residents, and so happy to get to give her a hug in person!

By Aaron Handler
Better2Write Essay Submission

Embarking on the Better Together journey, I dove into a world that intertwined generations, nurturing a newfound respect for my elders and forging invaluable friendships within my BBYO community. This initiative has become a beacon of light, illuminating the void left by the loss of my grandparents and reshaping my daily perspective on life.

Situated in the heart of Tucson, the Handmaker Jewish Senior Citizens Home has become my monthly retreat. Here, alongside fellow BBYO chapter members, I find myself immersed in a melting pot of stories, wisdom, and laughter. Each visit brings the thrill of meeting new faces and the warmth of rekindling bonds with familiar ones. The tales shared by these seasoned lives, brimming with regrets, achievements, and dreams, have imprinted on me the profound wisdom that only years can bestow. Barry, a senior I recently met, left a lasting impact with his words, "The older and older I get, the more and more time I have," a mantra now deeply etched in my approach to life.

My journey through Better Together has also been a voyage of friendship. The program has not only strengthened ties with my existing friends from the Tucson BBYO chapters of Abba Godol and Kadimah but also opened doors to new connections. These interactions, underpinned by shared interests and communal spirit, highlight the program's essence—bringing people together, transcending age and experience.

The absence of three of my grandparents has cast a shadow over recent years, leaving me yearning for lost time and wisdom. Better Together has tenderly bridged this gap, transforming initial strangers into cherished friends, reminiscent of the grandparental bond I've longed for. Their stories, echoing through the halls of Handmaker, have become a comforting balm, filling the void with laughter, lessons, and an undeniable sense of belonging.

Reflecting on Barry's poignant words, I've come to realize the preciousness of our time and the importance of living fully in the present. This program has unveiled the stark reality that, while our later years may offer more time, it is the vibrancy of youth that holds the key to adventure, learning, and joy. The smiles and eagerness of the Handmaker residents during our visits are a testament to the joy and fulfillment such interactions bring, reinforcing the belief that life is indeed "Better Together."

The Better Together program has significantly molded my life's outlook, fostering a deep appreciation for intergenerational wisdom and the beauty of community. It has taught me to cherish every moment, embrace new relationships, and carry forward the legacy of those I've had the privilege to meet. As I continue to navigate life's path, the lessons learned and friendships forged through this program will guide my steps, reminding me of the richness and diversity of the human experience and the profound truth that we are, undeniably, better together.

Beautiful wrinkled hands 
Spots here and there 
But, with each spot is a new story
A story on how these beautiful hands did so much
They cooked dinner
They wiped tears
They did bunny ears while tying shoes
They held little hands while crossing the street
They made a peaceful home
They folded in prayer while little eyes rested
They will forever be cherished 
Because wherever these hands were needed they were there
So……… even if they don’t look like they once were
Remember the hearts these beautiful hands have touched.

Sabrina Ojeda ❤️❤️
Handmaker CNA

This essay was submitted by Tucson Hebrew Academy student and Better Together Intergenerational program participant, Shoshana Jacobson, and recently won the Better to Write Contest...

The pencil glided across the page with grace and ease. Her hand shook gently as she drew the figure. The skin on her hand was milky white, soft and buttery, weathered by the years. Marcie had shoulder length gray hair with long fingers and nails. Even though she was sitting the entire time I was with her, she appeared to be tall and was wearing a pretty pink blouse with flowers on it. In a previous life, she was an artist who worked in the fashion industry. And I could tell that drawing still brought her great joy.

This was not my first visit to the senior facility called Handmaker. I had been there many times. At first, I went to visit my grandpa David. I was very young, and do not remember much of my time with him at Handmaker. However, walking into the facility for the first time after grandpa died, the smell of pine cone-scented cleaner struck me as strong and familiar.

For years, I have been going to Handmaker with Tucson Hebrew Academy to visit residents. It is one of my favorite field trips we do because I love making new friends, getting to know the people who live there, and hear their stories.

This was the first time that I met Marcie and she immediately left an impression on me. I was in a group with my classmate and friend, Mollie Nicley. At first, we introduced ourselves and asked questions about our families and lives to get to know each other. Once the ice was broken and we warmed up, our task that day was to create family trees. What struck me at first was that the only living member of Marcie’s family was her sister, who also lived in Tucson. Her mother, father, and cousins had all passed away. Learning that made me sad because she could not spend time with her family. At the same time, I felt good about being with Marcie because I was doing a Mitzvah by keeping her company.

After we completed her family tree, out of nowhere, Marcie picked up a blue pencil, grabbed a piece of paper from the stack that Cantor Emily gave us, and started drawing. I looked at Mollie, and she looked back at me, in that silent language best friends have, wondering what Marcie was doing because she did not tell us what she was drawing.

Within seconds, I could tell what she was sketching—and this was no ordinary artist. I was truly inspired. With graceful strokes, and without hesitation, she was sketching beautiful, tall and slender models with 1960s hairdos. With each line, the figure came alive. After drawing their outlines, she picked up different color pencils and shaded in their outfits. I was mesmerized at how she was drawing seemingly without thinking, like it was second nature. She drew four ladies in different poses, each with different outfits, in just a few minutes. As she finished, she told us about her career in fashion and advertising. I did not move. I am not even sure I was blinking. I was so fascinated to learn about Marcie’s history. I did not want to leave Handmaker without taking a piece of Marcie with me. And apparently Mollie felt the same way because, almost at the same time, we asked Marcie if we could keep her drawings. Even though Marcie had a mask on, I could tell from her eyes that she was smiling.

As Marcie was signing her name, I whispered to Mollie, “I wonder if she can draw us.” I built up the courage and asked Marcie if she could draw us. Marcie replied, “I’m not really good at faces.” “It’s okay,” we replied. Marcie then sighed heavily and said, “I’ll try my best.” When she started drawing me, she kept looking up at me, then at the paper. But this was no ordinary look. It was as if she was trying to understand my face and who I was. I felt a connection to Marcie that surprised me and gave me butterflies in my stomach. When she was done sketching my face, I could tell that she really captured my essence. She then wrote my name and the date on the piece of paper and handed it to me. I was blown away!

Our time at Handmaker was coming to an end. Even though we were only able to spend about a half hour with Marcie, I felt really connected to her and did not want to leave. Once on the bus back to THA, I was boasting about my new friend and showing everyone Marcie’s drawings.

When I left Handmaker, I felt different. Somehow, I know that I was meant to meet Marcie, and that I would never forget her. Through her art, Marcie connected with me at a level I did not expect. Handmaker will no longer just remind me of my grandpa, but of the sweet, beautiful woman named Marcie that drew upon my heart.

For many years, the weekly Shabbat dinners in the Rubin Assisted Living dining room have been a beautiful way to end the week and welcome the Jewish Sabbath. It was not exactly so this past Friday night. While we said the blessings over the candles, wine, and challah together, and were served a delicious dinner, there was something missing. That something, or someone, was Handmaker resident, friend, and spiritual leader, Rabbi Richard Safran, who passed away on Friday morning, December 2^nd at the age of 92.

The Tucson Community was blessed when Rabbi Safran and his wife Lois moved to Tucson, shortly after they discovered The Old Pueblo while on a trip to a Rabbinic conference in San Diego in 1995. And when Rabbi Safran became the Tucson Jewish Community Chaplain more than 15 years ago, Handmaker residents got to know him during his weekly visits. He liked to plan the visits to coincide with the weekly meeting of Handmaker’s knitting group, because he enjoyed sitting and chatting with the knitters. And they, of course, enjoyed spending time with him. So, when Rabbi Safran moved into Handmaker’s Rubin Assisted Living Neighborhood in February of 2019, he was already an integral part of our community. And after he moved in, he never stopped giving. While he was no longer the Tucson Jewish Community Chaplain, he became, unofficially, our Handmaker spiritual leader. He was always ready to listen, offer guidance and care, and to lend a hand however and whenever he could. He walked through the building multiple times a day, stopping to talk to everyone he saw. Often poking his head into open office doors with a smile and sweet “peek-a-boo,” his visits would brighten everyone’s day. His infectious smile and laugh, and his wit and his wisdom, made everyone he met feel special.

Shabbat and Holiday meals dinners were also made more special with his warmth and spirit. There was always singing, although he often apologized for his voice, and he liked to bring readings and poetry to share. After each Shabbat meal and a few rounds of “shalom alecheim” and “adon olam,” he would walk around the room to shake everyone’s hand, or do a fist bump, to wish each person a Shabbat Shalom. He blew the shofar with a vigor beyond his years during the Jewish High Holidays, led inspirational Passover seders, and was always available to teach a class, lead the blessings before holiday meals, and share with others.

How do we go on without him? Without his spirit, his joy, his wisdom, his presence, and his smile? We go on for him. Shabbat was clearly a great joy for him. He is quoted in an article in the Arizona Jewish Post as saying, “For me, the saving grace of surviving (after his wife’s passing) is Shabbat.” He also said that as a chaplain he had “been touched by the hope, courage and strength” of so many people. And we in turn, have been touched by him.

Last Shabbat, the first Shabbat without our dear Rabbi Safran with us, we reminisced. We shared stories of what he meant to us, the bits of wisdom and kindness that he showed to each, and every one of us. And in his honor, in his memory, we will keep celebrating Shabbat together. We will remember what he brought to us: the joy, hope and caring, and try to emulate it and share it with others. May his memory be a blessing.

“Friendship is essential,” says Rabbi Richard Safran, a resident in Handmaker’s Rubin Assisted Living Neighborhood. Having lived in many different cities and counseled many individuals as both a Rabbi and a Chaplain throughout his 92 years, Rabbi Richard has seen firsthand how important friendships are to quality of life.

Human beings are social creatures. And even the most introverted among us need some social connection to survive and thrive. Research has shown that people who engage with others in meaningful activities tend to live longer, happier, and healthier lives.

Yet, as we age, many people are more alone than when they were younger. This can lead to social isolation and loneliness, contributing to health problems like cognitive decline, dementia, depression, and even heart disease and stroke.

When we are young, there are many opportunities to make new friends on the playground, at school, through clubs, sports, camps, and other activities. Young adults often develop friendships with co-workers at or through work, religious affiliations, and through their children and partners. But it seems to get a bit harder to develop new friendships for older adults. Friend circles get smaller as people grow older and may grow apart, move away from one another, and even pass away. Older adults who are not as active and involved in their communities or have other interests may find it harder to actively meet new people and make new friends. And the forced social isolation from the COVID pandemic has certainly not helped.

One of the benefits of living communally at a Senior Living Community such as Handmaker is that there are always other people around who are also looking to make a new friend. While the prospect of opening yourself up to new friendships may seem daunting at age 75 or older, it is not impossible. And oftentimes some of the closest friendships can be made during this time of life.

Take Erma and Toddy, for example. They both moved in to Handmaker within a week of one another and found themselves living next door to each other. On one of their first mornings at Handmaker, they both walked out of their apartments at the exact same time. Erma looked at Toddy and asked her if she wanted to walk down to breakfast together. Toddy said “Sure,” and that was the beginning of what has been one of the best and closest friendships of their lives for each of them. These days, they are almost always together. They find comfort in having a best buddy to walk with to some of the many activities at Handmaker.

If you look around Handmaker and observe the residents regularly, you will see that Erma and Toddy are not the only tightknit pair. You will notice many other special friendships that have developed between residents. Roslyn and Sarah eat most meals together, as do Kim, Diana and Barbara in the Rubin Assisted Living Neighborhood. If Michael is not in his room, he can most often be found in Cazzondra’s room or strolling the halls with her. In the Rich Long Term Care Neighborhood, roommates Karyl and Jolinda never seem to run out of conversation. When you walk into the Kalmanovitz Memory Care Neighborhood, you will often see Maria, Yolanda, and Sylvia chatting away as they color together, and Aldene and Marilyn are rarely found far apart.

At any age, we all need someone to laugh with and share life’s joys, as well as an occasional shoulder to lean on, and someone to look out for you. Friendships prevent isolation and loneliness and enrich our lives. And in the words of Handmaker Resident Rabbi Richard Safran, “Friendship is essential.”

So take a chance and say “Sure” when someone asks you if you want to walk with them to breakfast. It might be the start of something special. Because it is never too late in life to make a new friend.

Leo the cat shares an apartment with Jane at Handmaker. She got him from the Humane Society four years ago when he was probably about a year old. He is good roommate, doesn’t purr or ask for too much, lets her pet him, and keeps her good company. “It is so calming to pet him”, Jane says of her yellow tabby. “It’s what saves me!”

Knowing how important pets are to their owners, Handmaker welcomes small pets into the apartments of residents in Rubin Assisted Living and Besserman Independent Living Apartments, as long as residents are able to take care of them.

Like Kim. Every Wednesday morning those who Zoom into Handmaker’s Torah Study with Howard Schwartz will hear some chirping in the background. Those who come regularly know that chirping is the sound of Juan and Trixie, two parakeets in Kim’s Independent Living apartment. Kim has had them for 10 years, for the last year at Handmaker. She says that she loves to look at them, talk to them, and especially to take care of them. And they seem to enjoy participating in Torah Study and Shabbat morning services as well!

Max the cat was just a baby when Toddy got him. She says that he sleeps with her every night, and greets her at the door whenever she gets home. She talks to him all the time and he can tell when she is upset or not feeling well, and will cuddle up next to her to make her feel better. She says, “I am never lonely with him around.”

Grace found her cat “Buddy” in the yard outside her home several years ago. Since they were not sure if Buddy was male or female at first, they named her Buddy. When Grace ended up in the hospital early this year, her son and his wife took care of Buddy while Grace recovered. But shortly after Grace moved into Handmaker, they brought Buddy to live with Grace. Grace was so happy to have Buddy with her again. She says that Buddy is not a very cuddly cat, but likes to follow her around the apartment, and does let Grace pet her. Buddy sleeps at Grace’s feet every night and purrs when Grace rubs her with her feet. Graces says that is how she knows that Buddy is happy, and “it makes me happy when she is happy.”

Charles’s dog Poochie is about three years old and moved into Handmaker with Charles just a few months ago. Charles enjoys taking Poochie for walks, and Poochie likes hanging out on Charles’ patio. Charles says that he is so happy to have Poochie with him, and that “he is good company for me.”

Pets can be calming, are good company, and can give residents a sense a purpose and someone to love and feel loved by. It is always an adjustment to make a move to a new home, and having a loving and caring companion with you can make that transition that much easier.

When Pam left her home at 7:30am on May 18^th for a bike ride, she thought that she would be home by 9. She never imagined that she wouldn’t be returning home for nearly a month. Instead, she woke up in an ICU surrounded by concerned family; her three sons, husband and mom; not knowing where she was or how she got there. It was not until she had a visit from Heather, a woman whose face seemed vaguely familiar to her, did it all come back to her.

When Heather walked into her hospital room and hugged Pam’s son, Pam asked her who she was and how they knew each other. Heather paused before telling Pam that she had been a witness to an accident that Pam was involved in, which was hard for her to talk about. When she began to tell Pam what had happened to her, the memories came flooding back. Pam recalled being out for a bike ride, something that she had been doing for nearly 40 years. She was waiting on the right side of the left-hand turn lane to make a left turn when a van came barreling into her from seemingly nowhere. She remembers seeing it coming and knowing that there was nothing that she could do.

Luckily for Pam, Heather was not only a witness to her accident, but she is also a nurse. She was immediately able to provide Pam with medical care at the scene of the accident and to call for help. Pam was quickly taken to St Joseph’s Hospital, where she spent eight days in the ICU. She later learned that it was touch and go for a while because she had a collapsed lung and had developed pneumonia. One of her doctors even told her eldest son that they might want to think about getting some things in order in case she didn’t make it. Fortunately, this former University of Arizona Cross Country and Track athlete was strong and fit. She was able to recover from the pneumonia and have surgery to put in place three titanium rods to secure her broken bones; one into her left tibia, one into her right femur and through to her hip, and one into her right arm.

After another week of healing at St. Joes, Pam made her way to post hospital rehabilitation at Handmaker, where she says all of the staff “have been wonderful and helpful” and she feels fortunate to have continued her recovery. Since she still cannot put weight on her legs yet, she has been somewhat limited in what kind of therapy she can do. But she said that Handmaker therapists Gary, Lana, and Elisa gave her plenty of exercises that she could do seated or lying down, and she has been doing them regularly ever since. As she progressed, Gary showed her how to transfer into and out of her wheelchair without putting any weight on either leg, or her right, dominant arm, which gave her back some independence.

Her positive attitude and dedication to her exercise routine have inspired others around her.  Both residents and staff have been affected by her friendly demeaner and her can-do attitude. She attributes some of it to a “coach mentality” that she likely developed from her years of coaching Cross Country at Sahuaro High School. She even “coached” Patty, a CNA, to restart her own exercise routine when she commented on how impressed she was with Pam’s hard work. The two continued to compare notes on their exercise routines throughout Pam’s weeks recovering at Handmaker.

Her hard work has really paid off. Pam progressed to the point where she was recently able to go home to recover, where she will continue on with the exercises that she has been given to keep up her strength and muscle tone, in addition to visits from home healthcare workers. In six weeks, when she expects to be able to begin some weight-bearing therapy, she hopes to work again with Handmaker therapists. She looks forward to walking through the door and seeing everyone here again.

Despite everything that she has been through, Pam is still able to look on the bright side, saying that she is thankful for and has learned so many things. She is thankful that she did not hurt her back, break any joints, or injure her head any worse than a concussion during the accident. She said that she has received so much love from all the healthcare staff who have taken such good care of her, and all the people who have come to visit her, that it has made her want to “love on” other people. She fortunately had never before had a need for medical care like this, and is both grateful to, and amazed by all the healthcare workers and what they do to care for other people.

Seeing how far she has come in these four weeks gives everyone hope that Pam will be back to swimming, tennis, biking, and running someday soon. And until then, we look forward to seeing her walk through the doors to visit with those of us whose lives she has touched here at Handmaker.

The term “therapy” is used to describe treatment used to help resolve a disorder. Deidre Pender, Handmaker's Director of Therapy, explains the wide variety of options we offer at Handmaker to help our patients in post-hospital rehabilitation, long-term care, and assisted living neighborhoods to recover their physical functions, compensate for ailments, maintain their quality of life, and promote independent living:

Physical Therapy 

Physical therapy is a necessary part of the healing process following surgery or injury.  Physical therapists work on restoring movement so that patients can regain and maintain their range of motion and strength to return to their prior level of function and get back to their lives.  This includes working on getting in and out of bed, developing safe strategies for transfers, walking with appropriate devices, and improving strength, range of motion, and balance. Our physical therapy team is experienced and skilled at being able to gently motivate patients to do the work that they need so that they can recover as quickly and completely as possible.

Occupational Therapy 

After injury or illness, people may lose their ability to effectively participate in their own care, including dressing, toileting, bathing, or eating. Our occupational therapy team works with patients recovering from injury to develop, maintain or recover the skills that they need for daily living. The team works with our residents to improve everyday function by improving technique, increasing fine and basic motor skills and strength, and teaching strategies to help the residents become active participants in their own lives. They may also educate the residents on fall prevention strategies and fit them for custom wheelchairs if needed. 

Speech Therapy 

Speech therapy at Handmaker focuses on cognition, production of speech, and swallowing ability.  Speech therapy is often necessary when dealing with ailments that affect the brain (such as a stroke, dementia, or a head injury) or ailments that affect the strength and coordination of the mouth and throat (such as dysphagia). The ability to communicate effectively is important at any age, but particularly for the elderly who may have greater health issues that need to be described, and who could be at a greater risk for feelings of isolation and helplessness if they are unable to communicate their needs. A speech therapist, also known as a speech language pathologist, is trained to focus on speech, language, cognition, and swallowing problems with the geriatric population, and can work with post hospital rehab and long-term care residents as needed to improve these functions through a variety of therapeutic techniques. 

Restorative Therapy 

What happens when residents graduate from therapy services?  Who helps residents continue their exercises?  The answer is restorative services.   A restorative nursing aide has been specially trained to follow therapy recommendations under the guidance of nursing in the skilled nursing and long-term care neighborhoods.  Typically, you can find a restorative aide assisting a patient in putting on a brace, cueing a patient with techniques to eat safely, or helping a resident complete an exercise program.

The therapies offered at Handmaker can treat a variety of conditions, both acute and chronic.  For acute injuries, our goal is to rehabilitate residents so they can return to their regular function as quickly as possible.  For chronic conditions, our goal is to keep our patients as independent as possible for as long as possible.  The road to recovery can be intimidating.  We are here to help. 

Death is a delicate subject. Most people don’t like to talk or think too much about it, even though it is something that we all have in common. But when you spend your time caring for the elderly, it is not a subject you can avoid. The reality is that we are confronted with death all too often. We all need to find ways to cope with the loss, despite the fact that most people are not even comfortable talking about it.

Developing affection for the people who we care for is natural and normal. One of the greatest joys of working with the elderly is getting to know and learn from them, but these very connections that we make are what makes saying goodbye so difficult. When dealing with death so frequently, we need to find coping mechanisms that don’t make us too numb to the pain, or conversely, allow our emotions to overwhelm us so that we cannot function. We have to do this, because we are at work. So, how do we manage? How do we cope?

Examples in every culture of practices to mourn loved ones

We can look to and learn from how people mourn their loved ones in nearly every culture and faith. Most practices include rituals for honoring the dead, and customs to help those in mourning to work through the grief. Many of these customs and rituals include bringing people together to help as part of the healing process.

For example, it is customary in the Jewish faith for the mourners to invite members of their community to a memorial service to honor those who have passed. After the burial, there are some customs that are usually followed during the first year of mourning. During the Shiva period, the first week after burial, mourners remain at home and receive visits or condolence calls from friends, family and members of the community. The visits usually incorporate prayer, meals and other support for the mourners. The Sheloshim period, the first 30 days after burial, includes daily recitations of the Kaddish prayer, as well as some restrictions on what the mourners are permitted to do as they ease back into life. And beginning on the one year anniversary, the Yahrzeit, the Kaddish is said, and acts of Tzedakah (just and charitable deeds) are often performed by the mourner in their loved one’s memory on the first anniversary.

These rituals give mourners a foundation for honoring and remembering their loved ones, for working through their grief, and getting back to life.

Give yourself time to feel, to grieve

While sometimes we are fortunate enough to be able to attend the memorial services for residents who we are grieving, most often we have to find our own way through it. So how do we? I have found that it is important for me to give myself some time to grieve, to allow myself to feel the sense of loss so that it does not get buried too deep inside, and so that I do not get too numb to the pain.

Find a way to personally memorialize them

It is often helpful to find some quiet time, even if it’s just a few minutes, to think about the resident who has passed. One of the things that I tend to do is look through photos that I may have of the resident. It’s my own way of memorializing them, and it helps to remind me of conversations and moments that we shared. Sometimes, if the resident has family members who I have gotten to know, I may speak with them or message them, and sometimes even share some of the photos that I have with them.

And then get back to life

And then I get back to my day. But that does not mean that I forget them. Little things are likely to remind me of them, and their absence will be felt for a long time.

We all have to find our own way to mourn and to cope, and this has become mine.

It’s not an easy business saying goodbye to someone who has touched your life, even if it was only for a relatively short period of time. But whatever pain of loss is felt, it is well worth the time spent with them; learning from and about them, seeing their joys, and even their frustrations and pains.

Yes, death is a delicate subject, one that we don’t like to discuss, but the more that we confront it, the more we can hopefully come to terms with it. There is often fear associated with dying; I know that I still have some fear of it. But, when you are able to observe others leaning into it gently, seemingly preparing themselves for the inevitable, it starts to become a little less scary. And maybe if, G-d willing, I reach 100 years old, as one resident who we recently lost was, I will feel somewhat more prepared for what he would jokingly refer to as “the big sleep”.

What do you get when you take someone who was raised as a Protestant, frequently attended a Lutheran Church with his Grandmother and a Unitarian Church with his Grandfather, and then explored Buddhism in his 20’s? A Handmaker resident who likes to attend Passover Seders, Shabbat morning services, Torah Study, and a Bible Reading class!  

Garet Tencate was raised in rural Pennsylvania in the early 1960’s. He found his parents’ Congregational Church “a little too puritanical”, so when given the choice, he often joined his grandmother at a Lutheran Church service. But he really gravitated to his Grandfather’s Unitarian Church. He found the Universalist services most interesting because they were very participatory, and it seemed that almost anyone was allowed to get up and help lead the service. So it is no surprise that he now enjoys attending Shabbat morning services at Handmaker, where attendees take turns reading out of the prayer book, and can ask questions of service leaders Mel Cohen and Dan Asia (and get answers) at nearly any part in the service.  

These are not the first Shabbat services that Garet has attended. As a teen, he often spent time with his next door neighbors, who happened to be Jewish. He enjoyed hanging out at their house because he found the whole family to be really interesting to talk to, and it gave him the opportunity to attend Shabbat Services occasionally with them.   

After he became a resident of Handmaker Jewish Services for the Aging's Rich Skilled Nursing Neighborhood, Garet’s intellectual and spiritual curiosity led him to check out the weekly Torah Study class led by Rabbi Howard Schwartz and Rabbi Richard Safran. He has since become a regular and active participant in the discussions at these virtual classes on Wednesday mornings. Garet joined in the Passover Seders and services last spring, High Holiday services this past fall, and has become a regular attendee of Handmaker’s Shabbat morning services, along with other residents from Handmaker’s Skilled Nursing, Assisted and Independent Living Neighborhoods. He says that he enjoys the readings, the explanations throughout the service, and the sense of community that he feels there. He thinks that his values and beliefs line up well with those of the Jewish faith, but he also still feels a strong connection to the Christian faith. In fact, most mornings he also joins a group in listening to the Bible read by fellow resident, Marylynn Layman.  

Marylynn is the head of the Resident Council in the Rich Neighborhood at Handmaker, and a former teacher, who began reading the Bible out loud with one of the other residents last spring, shortly after she moved into Handmaker. Soon other residents started listening in to their readings, including Garet. She has tried out the Shabbat morning services offered at Handmaker a few times but is more drawn to the teachings in the New Testament, and prefers to attend the Catholic Mass offered at Handmaker when she can. Her Bible reading group now meets every morning at 11am, and Garet often joins in. He says that he appreciates hearing many different ideas and perspectives, and discussing them with others. He believes that “we are all connected in a huge universe. Right now there is too much division, which makes no sense. Everyone has different ideas, none are right or wrong, and listening to others gives you a different way of looking at things.”   

Garet says that he enjoys “the mystery of finding out about” different faiths and beliefs. He thinks that there are many shared visions across religions; more similarities than differences. And he says that he really hopes that there is an intelligent design for what we are living through right now.  He is optimistic and plans to continue to learn and discuss life and faith from many different angles as long as he can. With the variety of options available at Handmaker, there is a lot of opportunity for him to do so.  

Perhaps we can gain insight from his open-minded attitude and belief that even those ideas that differ from our own may be worth listening to. And maybe, like Garet, we each have a thing or two that we can learn from one another.  

Although we are all ready to move on from COVID, we continue to have reminders (Delta and Omicron) that COVID is not quite gone, and that we are likely going to have to live with it for some time to come. How do we do that as we begin this new year? I think that a good place to start is with flexibility, and maybe a little faith that the worst of this is over.

To me, flexibility means being able to let go of expectations that everything has to go exactly according to plan, and to let ourselves enjoy and appreciate what we still can do, even if it is not what we expected.

Just think back to early on in the pandemic when we first starting wearing masks. It was hard to imagine that we could get used to them, and now they are just part of our daily uniform here at Handmaker. Residents and staff wear them whenever they leave their apartment or office. We may not like it, and would prefer not to, but we are used to it and just do it so that we can spend time together relatively safely.  We have adapted to this new norm. Hopefully one day masks won’t be necessary at Handmaker and elsewhere, but for now we wear them. Being flexible is key to being able to live with things as they are.

Shabbat services on Zoom may not have the same feel as those held in person, but it is preferable to see everyone's faces on the screen instead of not at all. We still do meet in person at Handmaker most Shabbat mornings, but when someone is under the weather, or there is an uptick of COVID in the community, it is nice to have the flexibility to be able to meet safely, virtually.

Virtual Torah study class would not have seemed so appealing a few years ago, but it has been wonderful option these days for those interested residents who are willing and able to give it a try. We can still connect to and learn from one another, even if we are not in the same physical room.

Visiting face to face with family is ideal, but for those who are avoiding travel these days, virtual calls can be more satisfying than anyone ever thought. We cannot hug through FaceTime, but smiles can be seen fairly well on the screens, and can bring almost as much joy as they do in person.

It is important to celebrate when we can. Our activity department had planned a fun New Year’s Eve program for residents with live Klezmer music performed by the group Klezmerkaba, and refreshments to toast the New Year. After some concern about this gathering at a time when there was increase in COVID in the community, we decided to eliminate the refreshments during the program so that everyone would keep their masks on, and instead wrapped up the beautiful cake pops to-go. Everyone was initially disappointed, but due to their heightened ability to be flexible, and love of live music, the New Year’s Eve show was still great fun!

Recently, a congregant from the Chesed (loving kindness) group at Congregation Bet Shalom reached out to me asking to set up a program with Handmaker residents who might be feeling isolated during this time. We thought about how to plan this program, being mindful of COVID, and decided to try a “Virtual Tea Party” on Zoom. I admit that I had reservations. Residents do well connecting to family and friends virtually, but I was really not sure how well they would connect to a group of strangers. I tried to be open-minded and flexible and encouraged the residents who I invited to participate to do the same. Our first meeting was a great success! Of course, meeting in person would have been ideal, but our ability to be flexible in our thinking opened us all up to this slightly imperfect meeting that was a wonderful way to connect. And the Tea Party participants are all looking forward to our next meeting.

Clearly we have dealt with much pain and difficulty over these last two years, but we have learned, adjusted and persevered. Our ability to be open-minded and flexible can serve us well as we continue to manage life with COVID in our world. And hopefully we can maintain our faith that things are continuing to improve, and that there is much to enjoy in this somewhat imperfect but still amazing world.

The Shehecheyanu is a Jewish blessing that is usually recited the first time we do something in the Jewish Calendar year, such as the first night of Hanukkah, Sukkot, Passover, and on joyous occasions. It can be translated as “Blessed are You, Adonai our God, Sovereign of all, who has kept us alive, sustained us, and brought us to this season.” Friends of mine who have young children have a lovely tradition of saying the Shehecheyanu the first time they do many things for the first time, even those unrelated to a Jewish holiday or Jewish practice. For example, before their first swim in a pool for the season, the first bite of watermelon in summer, or a first trip to Disneyland.

When the Adventure Bus Outreach program was planning their first outing since the Covid pandemic, I was reminded of this tradition, and we all thought that this could be a great Shehecheyanu moment, a perfect time to say this blessing. And as the Adventure Bus participants gathered in front of the bus to recite the blessing together before their first outing, there was definitely a sense of joy and gratitude about being able to take a trip together again after such a long hiatus.

While most people are familiar with the recitation of this blessing for Jewish Holidays and some special occasions, it is also somewhat common to say this blessing before eating a new fruit for the first time since Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year), seeing a friend who you have not seen in 30 days, buying a home, upon the arrival to Israel, and other special occasions.

These are all great things to celebrate, but there is something to be said for celebrating some of the smaller occasions in life, especially these days. Saying this blessing marks something as special and new, and it’s a way of expressing our gratitude.

So why not say the Shehecheyanu for some of the seemingly smaller events, for which we are still very grateful. Perhaps the first time you eat out in a new restaurant, or the first time going to the movies in a long while. Maybe the first time you are back inside your congregation for an in-person service or your first live concert, plane ride or in-person class. There are going to be a lot of “first-in-a-long-time” events for everyone these days. A lot of Shehecheyanu moments. Let’s celebrate and express gratitude for every one of them!

We are all so grateful to our Healthcare workers, who many have referred to as heroes throughout this pandemic. Some of them shy away from that description, but there is no doubt that Doctors, Nurses, Caregivers and other Healthcare workers are heroes. They have, and continue to put their own lives and health at risk while caring for others.

But we should similarly recognize that there are many behind-the-scene heroes who have been working tirelessly throughout this pandemic. They too have worked, and continue to work, at risk to their good health in order to meet the needs of the ill and/or vulnerable. While we continue to be hopeful that the COVID pandemic will soon be behind us, we should acknowledge these hardworking, unsung heroes who have kept our residents safe and sound throughout. Here are tributes to some of them here at Handmaker:

Tracy must have put in tens of thousands of steps a day throughout the pandemic as he sanitized every door knob, hand rail, arm rest and every other surface touched by human hands multiple times per day.

Keith likely moved hundreds of residents and all of their stuff from one room or unit to another through the multiple quarantines and lockdowns during the pandemic. In addition, before and after each move, he and other environmental services staff, like Rose, had to sanitize every inch of every room, surface and piece of equipment to help stop the spread, all while in full PPE from head to toe.

Speaking of PPE, in order to make sure that we had enough to keep everyone at Handmaker fully protected and geared up, Mary was constantly searching out different suppliers for this difficult to find but necessary equipment, as Ramon and Hector regularly delivered and restocked the needed supplies to each unit.

Ginger, Tiffany, Cora, Ana and many other servers took orders and delivered meals to residents in their rooms and apartments during each lockdown period throughout the pandemic when communal dining was not possible, and are still working hard to serve food to our residents who are now back in the dining rooms.

Nahid, Angela and others in the activities department donned N-95 masks, shields and multiple gowns to engage residents during the pandemic lockdowns with one-on-one activities and video calls to loved ones in order to keep them connected during some the most trying times.

Working in the laundry to keep clothing and bedding clean and sanitized is hard work in normal times, but additional safety protocols and the risks due to the pandemic were what Tim and others in the laundry had to deal with every day during the pandemic.

Bob and Dan in the maintenance department always have their hands full keeping everything in working order at Handmaker, but fixing things while wearing PPE added an additional challenge, and risk at times, but we are grateful that they have still been here for us.

So thank you to all the healthcare heroes for all that you have done and continue to do, and to those behind-the-scene heroes who have been there for us too. Anyone who wants to show their appreciation for all of the Handmaker Heroes can do so by contributing to the Handmaker Employee Appreciation fund at https://www.handmaker.org/donations/employee-appreciation-fund.

The last 18 months have been filled with adjustments and readjustments, and doing our best to make lemonade with the endless number of lemons being handed to us. We were full of optimism this spring when vaccines protecting against COVID-19 were made available to those who wanted to get vaccinated, and nearly all of Handmaker’s residents did and were. COVID-19 seemed on the retreat. Visitors were back in the building visiting loved ones, residents were eating together, our activity calendar was once again full with group activities, people were starting to travel again, and masks were even starting to come off around town. It seemed that the end of restrictions and fears was in sight. We felt that it was safe to make some plans.

There was some talk of a Delta variant in other countries that was a little worrying, but we decided to remain hopeful that life was returning to normal. Adventure Bus participants returned to the Handmaker campus, along with entertainers and fitness instructors, and we started to have in person Shabbat morning services on Saturday mornings, and Catholic Mass twice a month. We were planning for and looking forward to celebrating the Jewish High Holidays together in person this year, with guests, in Handmaker’s Great Room.

But unfortunately, things did not go exactly as planned. The increase in the Pima County COVID positivity rate, filling hospital beds, and some COVID scares at Handmaker were reminders that we were not quite back to normal. Residents were so happy to celebrate the Jewish New Year with festive meals together in our Great Room, spaced apart, but High Holiday Services were once again virtual this year. So while this is not quite what we had hoped for this year, there is some reason for continued optimism in the face of this latest wave of COVID-19.

Since we know more about we are dealing with, we have some tools to defend ourselves from it, including the fact that nearly all of our residents are fully vaccinated. We also now have more experience in making the adjustments that are necessary to keep our residents safe and sound. Everyone at Handmaker has had their resiliency tested, and most of our residents and staff have become more adaptable and flexible since our first go-around with this virus.

Residents are now familiar with Zoom and FaceTime. Even those with dementia are rarely startled and confused to see the faces of their loves ones on a computer screen, as they were repeatedly with the first wave of COVID. So while video calls are not nearly as satisfying as in-person visits, we are all familiar enough with how it works. And if we do have to have another lockdown, we know that it is just a temporary. That this too shall pass, and loved ones will be visiting in person again.

Interestingly, now that they are accustomed to it, some residents actually prefer Zoom options of classes and Services to participating in person. The group of residents who participate in weekly Torah study had the option of returning to in-person study, but decided that they could hear each other better on Zoom than when they used to meet in the same room! And when we started to offer in-person Shabbat services again, there were some residents who preferred to just ”Zoom” in, or choose from the vast array of other Shabbat Services to participate in from the comfort of their apartments.

While almost all of our residents prefer eating in the dining room and participating in group activities, we unfortunately have had some periods of time over the last 18 months when residents were required to stay in their rooms. Because of our past experience with these lockdown periods, we now have systems in place making it easier for everyone to manage during these times. And if we do have to do it again, we know it will be short term, and hopefully it will be less stressful for all. And then, when restrictions are lifted, everyone will once again appreciate everything about normalcy more. The food tastes better in the dining room, activities are more fun when we do them together, and everyone appreciates their freedom to move around and be with friends and family so much more.

Another reason to be hopeful is that there are more reasons and incentives for people to get vaccinated. There will likely soon be a mandate requiring all staff in nursing homes to be vaccinated. Handmaker has begun weekly vaccine clinics for staff, residents and family of staff and residents, to make it easier and encourage more people to get vaccinated. The Pfizer vaccine now has full FDA approval. As more people get vaccinated, hopefully restrictions will ease, and we can get back to normal. Until then, our resiliency may continue to be tested, but that will not stop us from celebrating as much as we can, including soon enjoying meals together in our Handmaker Sukkah in celebration of Sukkot.

G’mar chatimah tovah. (May you be inscribed in the Book of Life for good.) We are hopeful for a happy and healthy Jewish new year of 5782. And please, let’s not think about Lambda yet.

Most Jewish American women of a certain age know that the Charleston is not just a dance from the 20s, but that it is also one of the steps in the game of Mahjong. Of course there are some Jewish women, like myself, who have never played Mahjong, but most have at least heard of it, and likely know others who do or did play. Certainly over the years Handmaker Jewish Services for the Aging has been home to many Mahjong players and games. So when a group of current residents in the Rubin Assisted Living Neighborhood at Handmaker asked for my help in getting a game together last month, I thought it might be time to offer a Mahjong learning experience for them, and for myself.

Initially, this group of aspiring Mahjong players seemed to vary greatly in their game playing proficiency. Each had some experience playing somewhere in their past, but while some just wanted a reminder of the rules, others felt that they needed lessons on the basics of play. There were a few more experienced players who tried to teach the others during the first few gatherings, but when I sat with them during one of these lessons, I noticed that there was not complete agreement about some of the rules of play, and things seemed to get a little tense over it. I had not realized what serious business Mahjong was to some of them, and quickly recognized that they needed a referee, or perhaps just an impartial teacher.

Knowing my own shortcomings when it came to my understanding of the game, I quickly turned to our wonderful Jewish community. I knew that there had to be a Mahjong maven out there who would be willing and able to help us out. So, I reached out to a few local congregations and friends to see if anyone knew anyone. Of course they did. I was given several names to try, but only one was available to help immediately, and that someone was Rochelle. With the many layers of connections that we uncovered between the two of us, and Handmaker, I knew almost immediately that we had found our teacher.

So, now we are all learning, or re-learning, the game of Mahjong, with Rochelle’s wonderful and patient help, as we also learn more about each other. It’s great to see residents enjoying remembering how to play, as Rochelle gently coaches them, and get a glimpse into their pasts. To watch the confidence grow in a resident who has been going through some challenging times and to see the competitive side of another resident who generally has shown only her more timid side has been eye opening. And everyone seems to be connecting with one another at a different level than ever before.

After learning and playing for the last month with this wonderful group of women, it’s not at all surprising to me that this game has been so popular for so many generations. I have seen how it can bring people together, and the complexity and competitiveness of this game of skill certainly has a way of keeping you coming back for more.

Curious to learn more about how and why this game came to be so popular among Jewish-American women, I did a little internet research. It seems that the game of Mahjong started in China sometime in the mid- or late-1800s, which coincided with China’s opening to foreign traders. It is believed that American tourists likely brought the game to the United States in the 1920s (maybe that is why the Charleston is a move in the American version?). In American Chinatowns, Mahjong was a popular way for Chinese-Americans to bond in the 1920s and 30s during a time when other Americans saw them as foreigners. Mahjong may have also become trendy with Jewish-American women for similar reasons. As many families moved out to the suburbs around World War II, getting together to play Mahjong may have helped “housewives” to build social networks, countering the feelings of isolation that they may have felt in the new more spread-out suburban areas. But why was it so popular with Jewish women in particular? According to Ruth Unger, past president of National Mahjong League (NMJL), Mahjong was a money-making endeavor for Jewish organizations, mainly for Synagogue Sisterhoods and Hadassah chapters, who sold Mahjong rule cards and received donations from the NMJL. In order to sell enough cards, they had to keep people interested in playing the game, so they continued to teach Mahjong to their members and keep the game popular. I am not sure if it is still a money-making endeavor today, but I am sure that the game is still being played, even by the younger generations.

And once I started learning and playing the game with the Handmaker residents, it became clearer to me why it is still somewhat popular. This game has been challenging our minds, stimulating our memories, and has brought us together. That’s not to say that everyone at our Mahjong table is going to see eye to eye all the time, it is a competitive game after all. But as we are learning how to play the game, we are enjoying learning about each other, and hopefully we will continue to do so together for many more years.

You may have heard the phrase “motion is lotion”. It’s a simple phrase often used by Physical Therapists to encourage people to keep their bodies moving. The lotion generally refers to the synovial fluids that the motion releases in our joints, which helps keep the joints lubricated so that they work better. Choosing the proper motions that are both enjoyable and safe is important for both our bodies and our minds, especially as we age. Strength or resistance training, yoga, joyful movement, and walking are some great options to choose from to help maintain mobility. Several of the fitness instructors at Handmaker would like to share their thoughts on these various options, and on how to make the most out of your workout.

Resistance Training

“Resistance Training is really important for healthy aging”, says Adam, a Personal Trainer who teaches classes in our Tynan Assisted Living and Kalmanovitz Memory Care Neighborhoods, and supervises workouts in the Gym in our Rubin Assisted Living Neighborhood. He mentioned some recent studies showing that resistance training is a very useful therapeutic tool for the treatment of a number of chronic diseases, including heart disease and diabetes. Adam recommends combining resistance training with some light cardio work for a well-rounded workout.

For those just getting started, he suggests starting with a personal trainer to learn how to do things right, to prevent injury and to be more effective in your workouts. In his training classes, he generally warms up with some light movement, and then moves on to small hand weights and isometric exercises. In his open gym time, he is happy to see so many residents motivated to exercise. He works on resistance training with them, and supervises their cardio work on the treadmill or bike.

Adam’s interpretation of “motion is lotion” is that exercise gets your heart pumping and your blood flowing. This is healing because the blood delivers oxygen and nutrients to the body. He believes that that is part of the reason why people feel better after they work out, along with all the endorphins that get released from a workout. Adam says that he benefits from the workouts at Handmaker as well, because he has the opportunity to talk to, to learn from and to get to know our residents.

Moving with Yoga

If you are looking for a good stress reliever, yoga is a great option. Natalie has been teaching seated yoga at Handmaker since 2014, and she knows first-hand how beneficial yoga can be for stress relief.

As the caregiver for her late parents and husband, Natalie turned to yoga to relax and relieve anxiety and stress during a difficult time. And it worked. Stress can build up in the body and cause problems, but the focus on movement and breathing during yoga can keep your mind off other things, and help to alleviate that stress. The focus on breath during yoga not only relaxes you, but it also exercises your lungs, something that Natalie says most people don’t realize that you need to exercise along with rest of your body. And yoga certainly does exercise the rest of your body as well, helping to maintain or even increase flexibility, as well as to strengthen your core.

One tip she has for those taking a seated yoga class is to use a straight backed chair, and to sit in the chair with as straight of a spine as possible. Keeping your spine straight as you age is important. There is so much leaning over…on walkers or sitting slumped in chairs or wheelchairs…and sitting tall in your chair during yoga is a way to try to get into a habit of sitting up as straight as you can all or more of the time. Yoga strengthens your core, helps you to breathe easier, reduces stress and gets your circulation flowing…a great combination of benefits for anyone.

Joyful Movement

Handmaker’s Joyful Movement classes “get people moving and get people moving together in community”, according to Handmaker Dance Instructor, Karenne.  Classes are organized to allow for a balanced combination of structure and creative explorations.  Karenne starts class with basic movements of different body parts to activate muscles and awaken movement feelings, allowing the body to physically prepare for the creative work where participants can improvise and share movement themes with the group. She believes that “Dance is a central art…combining body movement, sound, and emotional expressions.  Being in a dance class opens up the mind, body and heart, allowing us to be who we are while being with each other….” She feels honored to share creative space with the beautiful and amazing dancers in the Tynan and Kalmanovitz neighborhoods. She treasures watching a participant who starts a class withdrawn in a private world suddenly moving their hands to the beat of the music.

Karenne suggests that when looking for a good way to move, that you should choose to move creatively and joyfully to music. In this way you will derive even more than just physical benefits from your workout, but also open your eyes and mind in a whole new way.

Fitness Class and Walking

Adrienne is a fitness instructor who has been leading classes at Handmaker for 16 years. She thinks that while most of us might naturally find it hard to exercise, she suggests keeping a regular exercise schedule and exercising with other people.  Going to regularly scheduled classes is a big motivator for establishing an exercise routine.

She believes that keeping our bodies in shape is extremely important, especially as typical aging maladies such as arthritis begin to afflict us.  Keeping our joints flexible and maintaining muscle tone are important ways to help prevent these afflictions from overtaking us.   Further, she says that it has been proven that exercise is good not only for our body, but for our brain, especially for older people.

When asked what motivates her to continue to exercise, Adrienne says that “Exercising reinforces the feeling that I am doing good things for my body and my brain; doing all I can to not succumb to 'needless' aging - doing what I can to maintain healthy heart function, healthy lungs, strong bones and joints, etc. Of course some of this decline will happen regardless, but we can try to minimize it.”

And if she had to choose only one type of exercise, she believes that “walking is the single best exercise anyone can do if they are able to, especially if can be done with a buddy to help stay motivated. And, it can be done anyplace any weather and any time.  Any pace is beneficial, but rapid walking will also benefit the heart and lungs. And for those who are chair-bound, I recommend arm circles – little ones and big windmills – which are even good to do while watching TV!”

While each of our instructors have varying suggestions on the types of exercise they would most highly recommend, they all agree that, 1) whichever way you choose to move, you should move carefully and with some supervision or with a partner to avoid injury, and 2) try to find something that you enjoy doing so that you will stick with it, and you will be on your way to maintaining mobility as you age.

Is it possible to discover some hidden talent when you are well into your 80’s? Handmaker resident, Dorothy D’Elisiis certainly has. The beautiful paintings of trees, barns and garden gates that are brightening the entryways to many apartments in the Rubin Assisted Living Neighborhood these days are all the work of this 88 year old who first touched a paintbrush at the age of 87.

Dorothy did not have much time for dabbling in the arts when she was younger. She was too busy taking care of everyone around her. Beginning at the age of 16, when she was growing up in Saratoga Springs, she encountered a woman walking drunkenly down the street. Most 16 -year-olds would likely cross the street to get away from someone in that state, but Dorothy went up to woman to see if she could help. The woman shared her story of being scorned by neighbors for certain life choices, and how difficult life had been for her because of it. Meeting this woman and hearing her story greatly affected Dorothy, and she did what she could to help her. And for the next 17 years, Dorothy made it her mission to take in and care for any person in need that she came across. She believes that she reformed many alcoholics and drug addicts over the years, and only stopped when she gave birth to her son Jeff when she was 33 years old and needed to focus her energy on taking care of him.

Dorothy moved with her family to Tucson in 1979. When her husband Ernie became ill, they moved back to Saratoga Springs, NY. And after her husband passed away in 1981, she and her son moved back to Tucson, where she spent time working in the pecan industry, construction, retail, and even a social services agency. “I could work anything”, she remembers, and kept quite busy with her various jobs while also raising her son.

After retiring, Dorothy lived independently for a few years, until she moved into Handmaker 2-1/2 years ago. For her creative outlet, she discovered adult coloring pages, which she would meticulously color with colored pencils. One day she decided to do something a little different and try out an “Around the World” class, led by Angela Salmon. During these weekly classes in the Rubin Assisted Living Neighborhood, residents learn about somewhere around the world, and then work on a related craft project. At the class on the day that Dorothy first participated they were learning about Florida, the Sunshine State, and residents had the opportunity to paint suns on small canvases. “I had never painted anything in my life”, she told me. Setting the brush to canvas that day opened her eyes to a talent that she did not know that she had. As Angela remembers, “It was as if Dorothy realized that she didn’t have to just color in between the lines as she had been doing in her adult coloring books until that moment. How lucky she was to discover this talent in her 80’s!”

Today, the entryway to her apartment looks like a small gallery. Over the last 12 months, she has painted over 50 paintings on small canvases, mostly of landscapes, often with trees, and most recently with garden gates. When asked where the inspiration for these paintings comes from, she admits that she does get many of her ideas from the internet. She has even watched some videos to learn how to perfect her water color painting techniques, which in itself is very impressive for an 88 year old.

She gives the paintings away to other residents who admire them, and has commissioned a few for some lucky residents too. “I don’t charge residents for my paintings. I don’t want them to have to spend the money. But, my nephew has just started selling some of them on ebay”.

Dorothy says that she wishes that she had a million dollars so that she could help those in need, especially all the babies that she worries about who are living in poverty. Well, perhaps her paintings will really start to sell on ebay, and she can reach that goal. But for now, she seems content to just keep on painting and share this wonderful gift of a talent that she was lucky to discover at the age of 87.

(Photo Credit to Angela Salmon)

Are you considering a move into a Senior Living Community, or helping a family member to make that decision? With the wide variety of communities to choose from these days, it can be quite overwhelming to know where and how to begin your search. And with the recent COVID pandemic, you may have additional concerns.

To help you get started, we have compiled this list of some questions to ask during your research of Senior Living Communities, as well as things to think about when considering your options.

How much is it going to cost? Affordability is one of the top concerns of those who are looking into Senior Living options. These are some questions you may want to ask about pricing and cost:

What plans are offered and what is the pricing structure? And do these fees increase annually?

What is included?

• Routine home maintenance and repairs
• Exterior maintenance and/or landscaping
• Appliances
• Utilities, such as gas, water, electric
• Cable, phones and internet
• Trash pick-up
• Housekeeping and/or laundry
• Furnishings
• Transportation
• Care needs

Is financial assistance available?

Do they accept long-term care insurance?

Is there an entrance fee or buy in? If so, what does that cover?

Are any of these costs tax deductible?

What is the difference in costs for changes in levels of care (i.e.: from independent living to assisted living, etc.?)

What Social and Wellness Activities are offered? Maintaining social connections and keeping physically and mentally active are critical to maintaining a sense of fulfillment at any stage of life. Check to see that the community offers the kinds of activities that appeal to you.

What does their schedule of activities look like? Get a copy. Does it change month to month?

Do they offer Art classes, lectures, movies, or other cultural activities that appeal to you?

What kinds of exercise or movement classes are offered?

Do they have a pool? Fitness or work out room?

Who leads exercise and other classes?

Do they plan trips outside the community?

Are there any clubs offered?

Do they provide access to religious services of any kind, on or off premises?

Do they offer events for residents? And if so, what kinds? And are guests permitted to attend?

What are the dining options? Meals are a very important part of any Senior Living Community, providing an opportunity for socializing, and should be an enjoyable experience. Some questions that you may want to ask about meals and dining options are:

How many meals are covered per day? Is there a meal plan?

Does the menu vary? Are there choices to order off the menu? Ask to see a menu.

Are snacks included?

What kinds of beverages are included?

Can family or friends join for meals? If so, what is the extra cost?

What are the meal times? Are reservations needed for meals?

Who will you be seated with at meals? Open seating or assigned?

Is there a dress code?

Are meals covered by a nutrition plan? Is there a nutritionist on staff?

What types of dining are available? Is there more than one to choose from? Formal, casual, to-go?

Do they offer private dining for special events, like birthdays or other occasions? Is there a rental fee?

Are there kosher/vegetarian/vegan/gluten-free or other dietary options?

If not offered, ask to join them for a meal so that you can sample their food.

What are the policies for visits from Family and Friends? If you are someone who has always enjoyed entertaining and welcoming guests into your home, it is a good idea to find out what the policies are for visits from guests.

Are there visiting time?

Are there limits to how many visitors are allowed at any time?

Can you have parties or entertain large groups? Is there a noise policy?

Can you bring friends and family to group activities?

Are there guest rooms available for guests to stay in?

Can you host guests in a public area of the community?

What are the levels of care offered? When you choose a community to live in, you may want to consider one that offers multiple levels of care so that you won’t need to leave the community as you age and your health care needs change.

What services do they offer? (Assisted Living? Skilled Nursing? Rehabilitation? Memory Care? Hospice?)

Can you continue to live in one level of care and access other services?

How far away is the nearest hospital?

Can you continue to use your health care provider?

Do they have an in-house physician?

Can staff administer medication?

What is their staffing ratio?

What advanced degrees are required of staff members?

Are staff available 24/7?

What is the care staff turnover like?

Is the community licensed and inspected regularly?

What are your COVID precautions? In this age of COVID, there are some questions that you may want to ask that pertain to precautions, policies and procedures. Bear in mind that COVID precautions will change as the Health Department guidance changes in response to the level of COVID in a local community.

Do residents have to be vaccinated against COVID? If not, what percentage has been?

What percentage of the staff has been vaccinated against COVID?

Are masks still required, and if so, where and when?

What COVID restrictions are in place on residents, activities, visitation or other, if any?

Does it feel like home? When visiting a facility, make sure to look around and try to get a feel for the community. And trust your gut.

Does it feel comfortable? Do you feel at home?

Are the people who live and work there friendly? Do they seem happy?

Is it clean?

Does it feel like a place that you would want to live?

Ask to speak with current residents and/or family members.

And, other general questions you may want to consider.

Are pets allowed?

What types of homes/apartments are available? (patio homes, townhomes, studio, one bedroom, two bedroom apartments?)

If they are still building homes, can you customize?

Is there additional storage?

Is there a garage, or other parking available?

What kind of security is there? Gates, security guard, alarm?

What is the average age of residents?

Are they a Continuing Care Retirement Community, offering a full continuum of care?

How many residents live in the community? In each level of care?

Does the owner of this property have additional locations/properties?

Ask to see a state survey or Department of Health evaluation

Making a move to a Senior Living Community is a very big decision, and a very personal one. Hopefully this list of questions will give you something to think about, and help guide you through this process, making it perhaps a little less overwhelming and maybe a little more exciting as you embark on the next chapter of your life!

Upon meeting Rosalyn and Ed Katzenberg, you would never guess that they have a combined age of 201!  And, equally impressive, that they celebrated their 75^th wedding anniversary on April 7^th of this year. When asked for advice on how to stay married for that long, Ed quipped, “Manage to stay alive”. 

Ed has a great sense of humor, still plays the piano, enjoys sitting outside when he can, and gets around with only the aid of a walker. Rosalyn always has a great story to tell, and is still a beautiful woman who barely looks a day over 80. We are so fortunate to have gotten to know and spend time with Ed and Rosalyn, residents of Handmaker’s Tynan Assisted Living Neighborhood, for the last two years. 

Born and raised in Chicago, Rosalyn was the eldest daughter of Charles and Anna (Weisberg) Litt, Russian Jewish immigrants. Despite some sadness in her young life; her bright and handsome younger brother, Buddy had diabetes and heart disease, and she lost her father when she was 16 and a student at Van Buren High School; Rosalyn was full of life. She and her best friend Lillian co-wrote a gossip column in the school newspaper written by "The Sparrows". No one knew the identity of "The Sparrows" until after graduation. Roz has always been someone who could keep a secret!   

She began secretarial work after High School, to help support her family, and was very close with her mother Anna until she died, just a year after Roz and Ed married. 

Ed’s grandparents were German Jewish immigrants, and he was also born and raised in Chicago, with his sister, Betty, who was 4 years younger than Ed.  He attended Lane Tech High School, and majored in Mechanical Engineering at Purdue University. After graduating in 1942, he was hired at the Naval Ordinance Lab in Washington DC where he joined the Navy and designed submarine depth charge detonators during World War II.

After the war, Roz and Ed met in Chicago through their mutual friend, Lillian. When asked about their first date, Ed reminisced with a smile, “It was in an automobile on Lake Shore Drive (in Chicago). We got along pretty well together. It was a good memory.” 

Ed and Roz married in 1946. They had two children, Chuck (b. 1950) and Janet (b. 1952) who they raised in Glencoe and Deerfield, Illinois, and Columbus, Ohio. During Ed’s career he did machine design for several companies, including his own die casting company in Chicago. They left the Midwest in the late 1970s for Coral Springs, Florida where Ed worked in the battery division of Motorola, and Roz was secretary to a Vice-President at American Express.  

They both enjoyed golf and international travel. Roz was a great cook. Ed was and still is a talented musician and pianist.  At 100, he still plays medleys of songs from memory; mostly love songs from the “Golden Era” (1930s-40s). After retiring at 69 (Ed) and 70 (Roz), they moved to Tucson in 1990, where Ed volunteered, working with engineers in Hyderabad, India, and he taught computer drafting in Tucson. He loved his work.   

Their son Charles (Chuck) and his wife Pam settled in Tucson where Chuck, after a long career in Cardiology, recently retired. Pam, a lawyer, is retired from her own law practice. They have two children, Ben and Jenny.   

Roz and Ed's daughter Janet had a long career in Dance and Theater, both performance and teaching.  She and her husband Greg live in Colorado and are both retired public school teachers. They have two sons, Jon and Colin.  Jon and his wife Trista have a nine year old daughter, Ella.    

Chuck and Janet shared about their parents, “During our formative years, they both looked for our interests, talents and passions.  They nurtured us toward excellence and strong work ethics by providing opportunities.  We could never have achieved what we have in our lives without their support!”   

Ed had a great store of quotes that his kids remembered including, ”A poor mechanic blames his tools, “Measure twice, cut once” and (when they would tease Ed), "A prophet is without honor in his own country!" 

Roz’s advice on parenting children was, “Always make your children feel good about themselves.”    

Their eldest Grandson Jon remembers of Ed that “every meal was the best one he ever had”. When he was a child, Jon loved the story of how “Ed lost his pinky finger to a crocodile in Florida. He killed it with an axe, and it had green blood.” (Ed assures me that this is not a true story, and that his daughter Janet must have made it up.)  When Jon had a pony-tail in 4^th grade, he remembered Roz commenting that “Bad boys have rat tails”.

Happy Birthday and Happy Anniversary to two true classics, Edgar and Rosalyn Katzenberg! May you continue to live in joy, peace, and in good health.